Discussion: Can Intercultural relationships work?

Being Turkish and English myself I wanted to explore whether intercultural relationships can work because I recently had a discussion with a friend who doesn't agree with it. I want to look at the advantages and disadvantages even though I know it differs with every single person as there are various different factors that affect a person. 

My mum and dad with me as a baby

My mother is English and my dad is Turkish, they met in England and when they got married decided to stay in this country. My dad kept his traditions and culture but adapted to his new English society. All my life I have learnt both cultures and respected both however I chose to not follow the traditional Turkish cultures as I do not agree with some of them. My mother didn't believe in some of the Turkish values therefore her and my father would compromise on what they would share and what would happen within our family. Personally I believe that works the best because it is the love for the family which is the most important thing.

I personally don't even think there should be advantages and disadvantages because we are all human and shouldn't look at race or anything like that, all you need is love and respect for the person you are with and shouldn't let anything outside that interfere, especially narrow minded and judgmental people. However I have thought of some so it can be discussed.

Advantages

Learning  a new culture

When you meet a person from another culture you get to experience new ways of thinking. You become educated in all new different things within that new culture such as language, food, clothing, traditions and values. You have a better understanding of others who follow that culture which allows you to relate to it and learn how other people live. We all share the same world but live differently, it is great to learn about new ways of living. It gives you a great sense of who your partner is, and to share that with them is a wonderful thing. To learn about different things within that culture allows you to explore it further by trying it out and seeing whether you would like to have these things apart of your life. To have that choice in life is great because you feel that you are apart of more than one society. It gives you a better understanding of the world we live in.

Advantages for children

There is an advantage for children who are in an intercultural family because from birth they will learn more than one way of living. They will learn all the traditions and all the cultures which gives them the chance to break down prejudices and not discriminate against others as they have a better understanding. Especially when they are younger at school they can make friends with anyone without judging them for where they come from or what they believe in as they themselves have come from a mixed background. Obviously this doesn't apply to every single person because every one is different but I believe this happens to the majority of children from an intercultural relationship.

Stronger family life

Families who are intercultural can make their own way of living by combining all their values and cultures. They may have to compromise with certain things as all might not agree on certain things. This makes a stronger family as they are willing to respect each others opinions and views or at least give it a try. It allows you to create your own traditions which will suit everyone. 

Exploring new countries

You get the chance to visit new countries if you or your partner are from another country. You can experience the different cultures first hand and witness the lives they live. You can choose where to live and bring your children up, depending on where you prefer. With my family I get to go to Turkey and stay in England. I prefer it in Turkey and hope in the future I can move there permanently. 

Language

If you do not know the language which your partner speaks it can be difficult because communication is very important however I believe it can be overcome if you believe in your relationship. It is hard to learn new languages especially say if I have children because they will want to learn English, Turkish and what ever language my husband would speak to please all family members. It would be difficult if not all family members could talk to each other and one may feel uncomfortable if another language is constantly being spoken and you not understanding. I personally would want to learn the basics of my partners language and hopefully be fluent. I would expect others to respect that every one is from a different background therefore may have a different language. However the chance to learn a new language is an advantage because it is good to speak to your partners family and also when you travel to the country your partner is from you can talk to the citizens of the country confidently. It can also open up a lot of opportunities for you in the future with careers etc.

Disadvantages

Family members & Acceptance

Some people will choose to continue to follow their original beliefs or adapt to new ones or even form their own. A person who is not of that culture may be left out when visiting their partners family as they do not follow the same culture and traditions. They can choose to begin to follow them just to fit in however it is unfair as they may want to follow what they believe in. For example an Indian girl may want to wear her traditional clothing at an English event however will feel left out as English people do not wear the same type of clothing. I personally believe that the other persons family should accept who you are because you are not marrying them. They should respect your own culture and vice versa. I would not expect my husbands family to visit mine and wear all Turkish traditional clothing, I would want them to be comfortable with what they are wearing. It is hard if you come from a traditional family as they may not be very accepting of your partner, which to some people isn't a bad thing. This may put a strain on the relationship. The family members may be old fashioned in the sense of sexist and racist therefore will never accept an "outsider" into their family. This is a hard topic and must be discussed before getting into a relationship to see whether it will work out and the issue can be resolved.

Depending on who you are you can overcome the disadvantages so easily, if your heart is in it and you have respect for others you will have a successful relationship. Just don't become someone you don't want to be. I believe in intercultural relationships because it doesn't matter as long as you love that person you are with.

Please share your thoughts, if you agree or disagree or if you have any experience, I would love to discuss with others! Please avoid racist comments!

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